Anders and his team were at a resort for an annual meeting Thursday and Friday. He came home with a menu of the spa offerings and they make my massage look tame. Think about what you might want us to arrange for you when you visit. The resort is about 2 hours away but we would be more than happy to watch you get one of your choosing.
Partial Massage: Foot triming, Ears picking, hand triming (these are not typos, I’m writing what is printed in the brochure) and what I may have had 2 weeks ago, Aromatic Ovary Care
Single Item: Scrapping and cupping
Special Treatment: Attractive Woman Aromatherapy Breast Care. Anders and I are debating whether it’s intended for attractive women (Who determines that?) or if it’s supposed to make one’s breasts attractive. Also available: Hot Oil Promote Lactation
Fascination Manual: ( any ideas what this means? ) Fascination Style for Men or Fascination Style for Women
TCM (means Traditional Chinese Medicine) Health-Keeping Therapy has provided us with the most head-scratching options: Ocean Dragon and Phoenix – Anders thinks they burn you and then you rise like a phoenix from the ashes, Royal Fumigation (for woman), Nephric Ridge Fumigation (I dare anyone to look that up), and Foot Fumigation.
My favorite of all is without a doubt: Buttock Fumigation (I guess you choose left or right or pay double to have both done). I think every man should have one of these. I don’t know what they do, if it’s painful or not, but what man doesn’t need to have at least one buttock fumigated?
Disclaimer: I did not make any of these up because as Anders said you can’t make this s*** up.
11AM – 89 degrees